Change your Thinking
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Changing your thinking can change your life.
I went for a walk with a good friend of mine last night. It was a beautiful evening, a little cool, but it was so great to be outside after a day in the office. My dog, Cody, was so happy, stopping at every tree and post! At almost 13 years old, he was behaving like a puppy! My friend was walking her old dog as well. We met when our eldest daughters were in Junior Kindergarten. And, somewhere along the road, we became dog people as well as life long friends. Who knew! We share the highs and lows of our lives, and especially the lives of our children, which seem intrinsically wrapped up in our own.
Wrapped up is probably a vast understatement. How about immersed in their lives. The truth is that most of the time we are thinking about them, their problems, their choices and allowing them to merge with ours. As if we get a say! As if what we think really matters!
But, we are old dogs as well, out for our walk and discussing the trials and tribulations of our children, who by the way, are young adults now.
Somewhere around the block I said, "I don't want to know anymore. It's better for me if I just don't know the details of their lives." One of my daughters is away on a school trip, and I get text messages from her everyday and some are not exactly the kind of messages I had hoped for. She is thousands of miles away and all I can think about is if she is getting the most out of her experience etc, etc. My other daughter's boyfriend is coming to stay with us for a week. I have mixed feelings about this 5 year relationship, they're too young, they live in different parts of the country etc. etc., and you know what, it has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!! My other daughter is having difficulties with her academics at university - and that too, is not my problem. It's not that I don't care. It's that I care too much. Somewhere along the line, my life has become defined by theirs. And, it has to stop now.
It's time to change my thinking. It's time to let them forge their own journeys and for me to support and enjoy their destinies. This is a very important shift in my mindset. I have made a promise to myself. I am going to embrace their lives and their decisions. I'm going to try not to have an opinion. I've done a good job. They are wonderful young women, they are interesting, smart and have all the skills they need to stand on their own two feet and make their own decisions. And, I need to allow them to do so.
The most important part of this equation is what I choose to do for me; how my frame of mind can support me. The best thing that I can do for them is to live my life to it's fullest and to inspire them with my life.
Change your thinking, and change your life. I'll let you know how I do!
I went for a walk with a good friend of mine last night. It was a beautiful evening, a little cool, but it was so great to be outside after a day in the office. My dog, Cody, was so happy, stopping at every tree and post! At almost 13 years old, he was behaving like a puppy! My friend was walking her old dog as well. We met when our eldest daughters were in Junior Kindergarten. And, somewhere along the road, we became dog people as well as life long friends. Who knew! We share the highs and lows of our lives, and especially the lives of our children, which seem intrinsically wrapped up in our own.
Wrapped up is probably a vast understatement. How about immersed in their lives. The truth is that most of the time we are thinking about them, their problems, their choices and allowing them to merge with ours. As if we get a say! As if what we think really matters!
But, we are old dogs as well, out for our walk and discussing the trials and tribulations of our children, who by the way, are young adults now.
Somewhere around the block I said, "I don't want to know anymore. It's better for me if I just don't know the details of their lives." One of my daughters is away on a school trip, and I get text messages from her everyday and some are not exactly the kind of messages I had hoped for. She is thousands of miles away and all I can think about is if she is getting the most out of her experience etc, etc. My other daughter's boyfriend is coming to stay with us for a week. I have mixed feelings about this 5 year relationship, they're too young, they live in different parts of the country etc. etc., and you know what, it has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!! My other daughter is having difficulties with her academics at university - and that too, is not my problem. It's not that I don't care. It's that I care too much. Somewhere along the line, my life has become defined by theirs. And, it has to stop now.
It's time to change my thinking. It's time to let them forge their own journeys and for me to support and enjoy their destinies. This is a very important shift in my mindset. I have made a promise to myself. I am going to embrace their lives and their decisions. I'm going to try not to have an opinion. I've done a good job. They are wonderful young women, they are interesting, smart and have all the skills they need to stand on their own two feet and make their own decisions. And, I need to allow them to do so.
The most important part of this equation is what I choose to do for me; how my frame of mind can support me. The best thing that I can do for them is to live my life to it's fullest and to inspire them with my life.
Change your thinking, and change your life. I'll let you know how I do!
Author: Jacqui Markowitz
